Finding yourself an experienced guide to help you navigate the turbulent and unfamiliar waters of early recovery is crucial.
Although it is tempting to think you can go it alone and heal yourselves by doing a workbook, or watching a video series, it is impossible to heal an intimacy disorder without involving other people. Building intimate relationships with trusted others is key in rewiring addicted neural pathways and dealing with trauma. I know the recovery tools you may have read about seem straightforward enough, but with so much pain flying around things can go spectacularly sideways quickly. Therapeutic steps like a period of celibacy or undertaking a full disclosure should not be attempted without the supervision of someone qualified and experienced. Done properly, the process, although painful and costly, can be utterly transformative.
There are many options when it comes to choosing your recovery guide and community. Thankfully, most professionals are working online now which opens up even more options. In an ideal world, you will both have a therapist/coach that you see on an individual basis, plus your own small recovery group. Many therapists/coaches run their own group/s. Our recommendation is that addicts see CSATS (Certified Sexual Addiction Therapists) and partners see APSATS trained therapists or coaches, (Association of Partners of Sex Addict Trauma Specialists).
However, we appreciate that going this route is simply not financially possible for everyone. The good news is that there are a growing number of ministries that specialize in this area, providing counselors, coaches, and groups for addicts and partners for a range of costs. To help you find the right group we regularly invite professionals and ministry leaders onto the podcast. We also have links to providers who work individually with couples in early recovery or run specialist groups for couples such as developing empathy, rebuilding connection, or restoring sexual intimacy.
If you have not already done so, sign up to our fellowship group as we regularly spotlight new resources, upcoming workshops, courses, tools, and providers.
find what you need quicker by clicking in the table of contents
Table of Contents
International Institute of Trauma and Addiction Professionals (to help you find a CSAT near you)
The Association of Partners of Sex Addict Trauma Specialists (APSATS)
Christian Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist – Mark Makinney
- What Every Pastor Needs To Know About Porn Addiction
- Man to Man: Why Should I Get Into Recovery
- Guy Talk Q&A Part 1
- Guy Talk Q&A Part 2
Hope Redefined Listen to Lyschel Burket interview
The Naked Truth Project Listen to Cat Etherington interview
Living Stones Coaching Listen to Shawna Meek interview
BeBroken Ministries Listen to Gigi Hopkins interview
Live Free Wives Listen to Melissa Ruff interview
Pure Desire Listen to Ashley Jameson interview
Stacey Sadler Listen to Stacey Sadler interview
Rosie Makinney, Fight For Love
Listen to Rosie read the intro and Chapter 1
Listen to the Team discuss the book
Steffens and Means. Your Sexually Addicted Spouse Listen to Barbara Steffens interview
Carnes, Stefanie. Mending a Shattered Heart: a Guide for Partners of Sex Addicts.
Carnes Stefanie. Facing Heartbreak: Steps to Recovery for Partners of Sex Addicts
Keffler, Sherri. Intimate Deception
Carol Juergensen Sheets. Unleashing Your Power: Moving Through the Trauma of Partner Betrayal
Vicki Tiede. When Your Husband Is Addicted to Pornography: Healing Your Wounded Heart
Vicki Tidwell Palmer. Moving beyond Betrayal: the 5-Step Boundary Solution for Partners of Sex Addicts.
Dan Drake & Janice Caudill. Full Disclosure: Preparing Partners for Full Disclosure
Gabor Mate. When the Body Says No
Francine Shapiro. Getting Past Your Past: Take Control of Your Life with Self-Help Techniques from EMDR Therapy
Wendy Conquest. Letters to a Sex Addict: the Journey through Grief and Betrayal.
Maurita Corcoran. A House Interrupted: a Wife’s Story of Recovering from Her Husband’s Sex Addiction.
Patrick Carnes, Debra Laaser, Mark Laaser. Open Hearts: Renewing Relations with Recovery, Romance and Reality
Debra Laaser. Shattered Vows
Wilson Schaff. Escape from Intimacy
Sheila Wray Gregoire. The Great Sex Rescue Listen to Sheila’s interview
Juli Slattery. Rethinking Sexuality Listen to Juli’s interview
Ginger & Bill Bercaw. From the Living Room to the Bedroom: The Modern Couple’s Guide to Sexual Abundance and Lasting Intimacy
Patrick Carnes. Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction
Patrick Carnes, Facing the Shadow [3rd Edition]: Starting Sexual and Relationship Recovery
Jay Stringer. Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing
Carol Juergensen Sheets. Help Her Heal: An Empathy Workbook for Sex Addicts to Help their Partners Heal
Drew Boa. Redeemed Sexuality: 12 Sessions for Healing and Transformation in Community
Pia Mellody. Facing Codependence.
Melody Beattie. Codependent No More; &, Beyond Codependency
Jennifer P Schneider. Back from Betrayal: Recovering from His Affairs.
Gary Wilson. Your Brain on Porn Internet Pornography and the Emerging Science of Addiction.
- Your Brain on Porn: www.yourbrainonporn.com (Incredible collection of scientific research about the effects of internet porn on the brain) Click on this link to watch the video Mindy was talking about in Episode 1 of the podcast
William M Struthers. Wired for Intimacy: How Pornography Hijacks the Male Brain.
resources for parents
Media Savvy Moms Podcast – MUST LISTEN for parents!
Parents Aware This website has everything to need to protect your child from porn and coach them through their struggles. Listen to Parents Aware inteview
Good Pictures Bad Pictures: Porn-Proofing Today’s Young Kids.Jenson, Kristen A., and Debbie Fox.
Good Pictures Bad Pictures Junior Edition: Porn-Proofing for Today’s Kids. Jenson, Kristen A., and Debbie Fox.
Fight the New Drug: www.fightthenewdrug.org (terrific resources for educating your children/teens about porn. Free 3 part documentary to stream. Great guide how to talk to your kids)
Brain Heart World Documentary from Fight The New Drug – MUST SEE DOCUMENTARY for parents and kids over 12. Free to screen for individuals.
Fortify Online support for Teens who struggle with sexual complusivity
Culture Reframed: www.culturereframed.org (helping parents and other adults build kids’ resilience to hypersexualized media and porn)
Google Safety Center For Families: www.google.com/safetycenter/families/start
Protect Young Eyes: www.protectyoungeyes.com, (great information on how to choose the right technological solution for your family)
ProtectKids.com: www.protectkids.com (great information on protection for your kids)
Netsmartz Workshop: www.netsmartz.org (resources for dealing with sexual predators)
Cyberbully: cyberbully.org (resources for helping kids dealing with an online bully)
Filters: Net Nanny, CovenantEyes, OpenDNS, Google SafeSearch
the fight again sexual exploitation
Matt Fradd. The Porn Myth: Exposing the Reality behind the Fantasy of Pornography.
National Coalition on Sexual Exploitation: www.endsexualexploitation.org (leading national organization exposing the links between all forms of sexual exploitation such as child sexual abuse, prostitution, sex trafficking and the public health crisis of pornography)
Enough is Enough: www.enough.org (national organization campaigning to make the internet safer for families and children)
resources for female addicts
Beggar’s Daughter by Jessica Harris, 2016.
Dirty Girls Come Clean by Crystal Renaud, Moody Publishers, 2011.
No Stones: Women Redeemed from Sexual Addiction by Marnie C Ferree. IVP Books, 2010.
Women, Sex, and Addiction by C Kasl